The Results are In !

Issue 3.

The appointment I have been quietly dreading came at 10.30am today.  My main concern being, has the cancer spread beyond my tongue?  From the questions I had been asked during initial consultation and prior to the biopsy I surmised the tumour was bigger than they usually come across and that it had been there for a considerable time.  With this my thoughts very quickly jumped to the possibilities of the more negative outcomes interfering with my desire to get through it.  As I have mentioned previously I am a very positive person at heart but my mind will always look at every eventuality no matter how despairing.  Arriving at the hospital well in advance of meeting I booked in and went for a coffee and a chat with my corner team.  Even when I walked into the Maxillofacial department I was calm and very much in control knowing that during the previous meetings the news delivered to me set my whole body to overheat and made me very light-headed.  The butterflies only took flight when the nurse called me through.

On entering the small consultation room, I started to prepare myself in my usual way, small practical steps in answer to emotions bubbling quietly.  Coat, hat and scarf off neatly hung up and a window opened to keep the room cool.  Whilst practising the art of mild OCD it was noticeable that the consultant was smiling, in fact his mood was clearly a bright one.  In the previous consultation confirming the cancer I could genuinely see the anguish in his face.

In his direct way he started with the good news and I am very pleased to report that the cancer is confined to my tongue.  It is as I suspected, large, measuring in at 4.4 x 3.3 x 2cm which to me just sounds impossible that something that would only just fit in a match box found a place to hide in my mouth.

Following the multidiscipline meeting the treatment recommendation is to surgically remove the lump and due to its sheer size remove the lymph nodes on the left side of my neck as a precaution.  Sounds pretty simple if you say it quick.  What it actually involves is 12 hour surgery involving some reconstruction of the tongue.  Post op the recovery period will be a long one, the most obvious issue for me going forward will be my speech.  The biopsy taken 18th Dec 17 was a big one I will describe in more detail at a later date.  The biopsy left me unable to speak for almost a week and then what followed was inaudible and very painful as I tried to wish the kids a merry Christmas.  I finally managed it tucking them in bed late on Christmas day much to my daughters delight. On Christmas Eve she told Mummy she would give all her presents back to Santa if Daddy could talk again, that really gets you in the feels.

The date for the surgery is now pencilled in for 22nd Jan 18 and my guidance is to fatten up and maintain fitness levels, the eating has had some immediate attention and plans in place to get out on the mountain bike and even turn out in a cup match for my badminton team.  For now I’m pretty much pain free, able to talk in bursts and looking forward to some normality for as long as it lasts.

I have tried to lay out the procedure as I understand it below, there is a lot going on.

Author: Irvin's Voice

Diagnosed with cancer is the most compelling thing in my life at the moment. Not being the most expressive person my blog is an insight to thoughts and feelings throughtout my recovery. View all posts by Irvin's Voice